she held her finger down on the delete
like flick of lighter
sharp rasp, thumb print marked
is this all I can think about?
songs played across the radio
sound waves passing across my brain, bitter sweet
when the smoke fills up the room,
tears brimming my dark eyes
I don’t mind, losing myself to all of this
the substance, the people like water flowing under a bridge
we can’t change their behavior, can’t take back our failures,
mistakes me for a friend in the crowd,
strangers everywhere, looking into one another
searching souls, sifting through lost children
but don’t worry, I’ve handled it, the world
—I’m not afraid of death, not even uselessness
so I’m gone, before I know it
blink out
through to the end of the century.

some of my private musings


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